honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
