In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
