put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
