Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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