So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
