It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
