Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
