I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
