I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
