They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
