she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
