My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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