There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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