spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
