I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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