Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
