i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
