My first STD was from a foam party
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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