he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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