i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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