FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
