I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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