I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
