I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
