and you said cock pushups were impossible
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
