i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
