Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
