The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
