I'm going to jail i love you
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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