:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize