I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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