yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
