There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize
