I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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