so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He did a backflip because drugs
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
