We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
