the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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