at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
