just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
