Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
