you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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