what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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