she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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