I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize