I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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