6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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