Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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