If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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