I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
