I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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