Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
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when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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