You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
