Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
