Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize