Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
