My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
