True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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