Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
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who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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