As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Damn victory sex feels great
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize